waiting on joy pt.1: santa’s bag

Waiting on joy is unlike waiting on anything else in the world. When I think of it, Santa Claus' bag comes to mind. Would I have cared about Santa if he didn't have that sack? What if he were just a fat guy in a red jump suit. Would we... Would I love him? Would I want to let my love for him be known? Would I tell you that I love him? "Hey, you know that big guy in the red suit? You know the one. I love that guy and I have no idea why."

I wouldn’t have a clue why I loved Santa, if he didn't have his bag. All that I know about him is that bag. That bag holds the things that I want, the things that I have asked for and the things for which I behave myself. Without that bag Santa would be hard press to get me to think of him at all.

So here I am waiting on joy and those are my thoughts, even though I know that I'm not waiting on things that I want and have asked for. Nor am I waiting for the things that I changed my behavior in order to receive. I'm actually waiting on something that I never knew that I wanted and that I never knowingly asked for. It's something that I've changed my behavior because of, not in order to receive; It might actually be something that changed my behavior for me. But most of all I'm waiting for something that I've never had and only believe exists.

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